Declan Rice is a finally a gunner. You gerrit? If you don’t gerrit, furget abourrit – this one is not for you. Moving on, Cameroon national Andre Onana already set foot in Manchester. Lionel Messi left Paris for Miami, reuniting with his old friend Sergio Busquets. Wonder kid Jude Bellingham signed for Los Blancos. Karim Benzema, Ngolo Kante, Jordan Henderson, Riyad Mahrez, Sadio Mane, Marcelo Brozovic, Kalidou Koilibaly, Edouard Mendy and Roberto Firmino have all left Europe to join the GOAT in Saudi Arabia. And a ton of other players have changed their workstations. Some are following the money. Some have outgrown their current environments and need to optimise their potential elsewhere. Others have their best years behind them and have no option but to retire gracefully. No matter their reasons for leaving, they have a whole adventure ahead of them. It is always exciting to be in a new place. Joining a new team. Occupying a new space. Meeting new people. Experiencing change. Sometimes change leads to disaster. Like Alexis Sanchez leaving Arsenal at his peak, only to score three Premier League goals at Manchester United in thirty two appearances. Sometimes change rejects you. Like Eden Hazard leaving Chelsea […]
July 2023
She always thought his smile was cute. She thought his jokes were funny. She marveled at his style. His physique. His aura. He was her dream man and she was pathetically in love with him. She wished he was hers, all for herself. But he couldn’t be hers and her best friend’s at the same time. Her best friend Kate had been dating Mark for the past half year. It ate her up, seeing them together. This was the longest relationship Kate had been in, in years. Kate had this little habit of finding fault in all her partners. If he didn’t snore too loudly, he had a deep vernacular accent. If he didn’t speak too much, he did not understand her love language. If he wasn’t too hairy, he had ugly toes. Kate would always come up with weird excuses to end the relationship weeks into thinking she had found her soulmate. But Mark was perfect. Too perfect that Kate’s best friend had jokingly warned her that if she let him fly away, she should not be surprised if he wound up in her nest. At first, it seemed like a far-fetched joke between two friends but the possibility […]
There is something enchanting about a lady in uniform. A nurse, a police officer, an air hostess, an usher, a member of the choir or even a student. They are different from all of us in ordinary attire. They stand there in groups, looking all alike, yet so different. Wait till they start doing coordinated activities. A sight to behold. But there is someone who shivers every time they see a lady in school uniform. His name is Pinchez. So what is with Pinchez and school uniforms? But before that, what sort of name is Pinchez? Pinchez is ghetto for Peter. Like Simon Peter from the scriptures, Peter was devotedly pious his whole life. He had even been appointed as the Chairperson of the Christian Union back at XXXX Boys High School. He was a saint. He exuded such a righteous lifestyle that it earned him the nickname Apostle. He scored his B+ and joined JKUAT Main campus to pursue a Bachelor in Architecture. As any other celestial shepherd of the flock would do, he joined the University Christian Union Chapter and immediately got elected to some semi – senior position in the union executive committee. You must have known […]
The other day my friend Sam dragged me to his local somewhere along Thika Road. It was reggae night. Sam is crazy about reggae. I don’t care much for reggae music so I was not that amused. We get there and the place is packed. Sam is a regular here so Shiro, his favourite waitress, manages to secure us sitting next to this dreadlocked couple. They are chewing a fat bunch of what looks like freshly plucked khat. They welcome us warmly and continue draining their half-full bottle of Gordons. ”Kawaida” Sam makes the order. Shiro brings our drinks and after blessing our departed, we start to imbibe. The place is painted red, yellow and green. Bob Marley is smiling down on us from the murals and paintings across the hall. The music is loud. The MC keeps interrupting the music with his commentary. His little jokes are hilarious I have to admit, but annoying at the same time. Maybe it is because he is a tad too personal. Tarrus Riley is next on the decks. The MC does the thing again. MC: ”If you feel like you have me wrapped around your little finger…” Crowd: ”You’re Wrong! MC: ”Kama […]